MONSTERS
We weren't due to play golf at St. Andrews for two days so we decided to take a leisurely drive to southern Scotland, rather than pressing to arrive as fast as possible. Scotland is a beautiful country and we were blessed with perfect weather so the drive was as relaxing a day as I've ever had. We visited a Scotch distillery and saw some historic castles but, much to my surprise, my companions requested that the focus of our drive be Loch Ness. It turned out that through a combination of reading and television programs they had developed a great interest in the Loch Ness monster.
Loch Ness is one of the largest lakes in Britain and with or without the monster it's worth visiting. Castle Urquhart, on the shore, is a large castle, now in ruins, and it was the best viewing place to see all of the lake from a slight elevation. The Loch Ness monster is a popular tourist attraction, with the usual souvenir sales and food items, and there were an impressive number of people milling around while we were there. For 1500 years, there have been stories of a large water creature in Loch Ness. In 1933, an apparently reliable couple spotted the monster and there have been periodic efforts to find the monster ever since. While there are many believers, I have a hard time believing such a creature could hide for so long in the face of modern, well-funded, high-tech efforts to locate it.
When I think about the Loch Ness excursion, the most notable thing was my surprise at my companions' interest in the monster. I've known and worked with one of them for over 20 years and I never knew of this interest, or anything like it. And I began to think about how little we know about our co-workers and companions, let alone our friends. We think we know people, we think we are attentive to their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, their interests, and we are constantly surprised. We want to know people, to feel that we understand them, that we can be better friends by knowing them, and often we don't.
Of course, the converse is also true and sometimes we are ambivalent. We want people to know us, to understand us, but we don't necessarily want them to know everything about us. We are afraid that complete knowledge will leave us vulnerable. We don't trust others enough to reveal ourselves completely except after long periods of acquaintance and a high level of knowledge about them.
We find ourselves uncomfortable when people reveal too much of themselves too early. We are distressed when people ask questions about us before time has granted them the right. We always keep something of ourselves in reserve unless circumstances lead naturally to mutual disclosure. We don't always know ourselves well enough to disclose anything. So maybe the answer is that we know as much as we can or should about others and vice versa. All we can do is be honest with ourselves and look for honesty in others. In that way, the curtains will part at the right time and we'll enjoy the show more.
9-16-02
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