GERMANY
As I mentioned before I left, I spent four days celebrating the wedding of an old friend in Berlin. It was a wonderful celebration, a recognition of my friend's good nature and generosity and the love of a couple separated by age and circumstances who came together in marriage. I fully expect their commitment to each other to be life-long and I wish them both every happiness.
On occasions like this, I often find myself musing, observing the passing scene, wondering about the lives of my fellow guests. This occasion was good for people-watching. The guests were from different countries, were of different ages and economic circumstances, had been educated in different ways, on the surface had little in common. But we all came together for the common purpose of wishing our mutual friends well in their new lives. For me, it was a unique occasion: I've never felt so comfortable in such a large group, I've never felt more welcomed by a group of strangers, I've never had so much fun. I haven't danced in many years but a beautiful young woman encouraged me and pretended that I could dance so I did. I've got a list of ten things I want to write about from this week and the following week in Scotland but today I want to talk about the young woman who danced with me.
It's so easy for young people to forget about the old. I remember when I was young and I was often guilty of ignoring older people. I assumed they could take care of themselves, I assumed we wouldn't have anything in common, I assumed age was an impenetrable barrier. This young woman thought beyond those considerations, treated me as an equal, wanted me to enjoy myself. She took it as a personal responsibility to see that a stranger from a long way away had fun at a party. Without being pretentious about it, she showed the best of human character and behavior. I can't thank her enough and I'll never forget her. She's the kind of person you wish you could help and see enjoy whatever success she's looking for, whether in school, business or human relationships. She was living the very definition of "best behavior". Whatever she actually felt about interacting with an older man, she made me believe that she enjoyed herself, was glad I was there.
It occurred to me that perhaps we can all try to bring this sort of behavior to our social lives.. Sometimes we seek total honesty in social situations, in our expressions of feelings. Perhaps we shouldn't be so honest. Perhaps we should make an effort to make others feel better no matter what we actually think or feel. We shouldn't let our desire for honesty, our freedom of speech, our desire to express our real feelings, our quest for openness overcome our basic gentleness, our courtesy. We should look more to the sensitivities of others in common social situations. If we strive to be nice to others, if we look to the good in whatever situation we are in, if we can at least wear a mask of happiness and good cheer, we will all be better off.
I don't mean to sound like a broken record but be nice to others, pretend to be happy with their company even if you're not, restrain your honesty in social situations. Everyone around you will be happier, maybe because they're trying the same things, maybe because you've helped make them happier. You'll feel better too.
7-29-02
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