CONTROL YOUR LIFE + Shoulder Update
I read about Spencer Christian, the TV weatherman. Despite a lucrative career, he is bankrupt, having, among other things, lost close to $2 million gambling. He was quoted as saying we can all find ourselves in difficult situations- of our own making- and that we need to take control and do whatever we need to do to correct our mistakes. At about the same time, I read about Art Berg, a motivational speaker who was paralyzed in a car accident. Berg notes that we all feel helpless sometimes but we can solve our problems by taking control, by focusing on the situation and working to solve our problems. He reminds us that we can only live in the present, not the past or the future, so we must do the best we can today.
I think we can learn a lot by thinking about these two disparate lives. One had everything anyone could want, fame and fortune, success as usually defined, and threw it away. The other overcame terrible adversity, adversity beyond his control, yet found success by not succumbing to the adversity, by figuratively picking himself up and moving on. He refused to dwell on things beyond his control and did what he could to get on with life, by doing the best he could. But both gave us similar advice: We are responsible for our lives and must do the best we can every day. They both recognize that success comes in small ways, by keeping going, by trying to do better, by refusing self-pity.
We don't live in a romance novel, gliding from beautiful moment to beautiful moment. Life is full of ups and downs, sometimes because of things we do, sometimes because of things beyond our control. When we make mistakes, we shouldn't blame ourselves and despair, we must set out to correct the mistakes. Better still, we should forget about the mistakes, except to the extent there are lessons to be drawn, and get back on track, get moving on the correct path, try to make progress towards our goals. And we should remember that the good things that happen to us are also sometimes lucky, things we didn't plan, things we didn't deserve. We should in all events stay on track, keep trying and do the best we can every day to do the right thing.
That's really the key: Try to do the right thing every day, try to move forward, no matter what the setbacks, no matter what slows us down. If we think about what we can do, in large and small ways, to help ourselves, we'll be in control and can take pride in our lives, whatever the result. And, more importantly, if we think about helping others, we'll help ourselves and stop worrying about the daily struggle, about the ups and downs, about setbacks. Helping others puts us beyond setbacks and makes our lives truly worthwhile.
A web friend recently gave up a lucrative career that wasn't satisfying to pursue a dream in a distant state. She took a low-paying job, far from friends and family, in order to break with the past and try to make her life fulfilling. She understood the lesson of control. We don't know what the result will be, we know only that we have to do our best, we have to try, we can't become satisfied until we can look back and congratulate ourselves on doing our best.
Stop complaining, stop worrying about the past, don't accept setbacks- do the best you can every day to help yourself and others. Remember you're responsible for your life. Take control.
[Therapy was better in the past week. I continue to make great strides in flexibility but I am still weak. I drove to work on Wednesday but I'm not going to do that again for awhile. I sometimes find myself using the weakness as a crutch, as an excuse, and I'm going to do my best to avoid that in the future. I intend to reach a day where I don't even think about my shoulder. I still think I'm going to be better than ever and I have to do whatever it takes to get there. I'll keep you posted.]
3-25-02
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