INTERNET GRANDFATHER®

Blame

                                    I've written before about blame, the growing tendency to look to others whenever something happens that is not to our liking. Many of us seek to avoid responsibility for our misfortunes. It's so much more comforting to believe that it's not our fault, that events are beyond our control, that others are to blame. Now, I recognize that sometimes things aren't our fault, sometimes events are genuinely beyond our control, sometimes others are to blame. But once we adopt an attitude of always looking to blame others whenever something goes wrong, we're on the path to defeat. If we always seek to blame others, we'll spend our energy on the blame process rather than trying to make things better. If we look only to others to blame, we'll do nothing, we'll sit around waiting for others to solve our problems, to show us the way, to push us in the right direction. Usually, we'll wait a long time.

                                            The attitude that we're in control of our lives will lead to improvement. We begin to think about our own mistakes, our own weaknesses and strengths, and about ways to improve. Once we accept that we're in control, we'll be more active, we'll look for the path to improvement, we'll take steps to improve.

                                              I urge that when we have problems we should first look inward and try to identify areas of improvement in ourselves. Usually, we won't have any problem finding things we can improve. If we then take energetic steps to find better ways to do things, our problems will soon be solved. If we sincerely endeavor to follow a better path, things will get better.

                                                As I've said before, if we believe we're in control of our lives, we will be. If we take responsibility for our own results, we'll feel better about ourselves and, perhaps most importantly, we won't hurt the people we otherwise would blame. Shoulder to the wheel, try to make it turn and eventually it will.

10-27-08

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